I’ve learned that life does not always turn out the way we plan. We as humans are constantly thinking with a futuristic mindset. This mindset inevitably leads to disappointment in the future. Often our minds role-play situations before they even happen, and when the event takes place, for example, a date or a night out more often than not we can feel a sense of disappointment because it didn’t play out the way we thought it would in our heads…
When I started secondary school I had these ideas of what I thought it would be like. I thought I would meet my life long best friends, go to parties, I would have a boyfriend, etc. Some of this happened, but honestly, some of it didn’t.
After the first year in school, the cliques started to form for example the Meerkats, ( I discussed these in a recent blog.) With that, there was this immense pressure to fit in with a particular group of friends. I tried so hard to build some friendships that I never took a step back, to look at who and what I was putting my energy into. I learned that you can’t force friendships. Sometimes no matter how much effort or time you put into someone, they simply don’t want to be friends, and that’s okay. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand this during my school years. I wasted my time on one-sided friendships, you know the friendships where you seem to be the first to call or text and arrange plans, and you make excuses in your head as to why the other person isn’t reaching out first when in reality you know they are just not interested…yes those.
Let’s just say I attracted a lot of Blowfish. A Blowfish is a creature who looks innocent, however, they are the furthest thing from that. A Blowfish holds a poison that is so toxic it can kill a human. Sushi chefs who prepare Blowfish have to study them for three years before serving them. To me in the jungle of school, a Blowfish is a toxic friend, they may linger around for a couple of years before you realize how toxic they are.
Over the years, I had many encounters with Blowfish. However, there is one experience that sticks out. Blowfish was a very respected species in the jungle (school). Teachers loved Blowfish. I liked Blowfish. We played on the same hockey team. However when we were in school, she barely acknowledged me, but once we were outside school and not around her friends we would have great conversations. This should have been the first red flag.
One day, Blowfish strolled over and asked if she could borrow a dress from me. I said of course, and I decided to ask her if she would like to hang out and watch a movie. She said she would love to (little did I know Blowfish was blowing up with s***). That weekend she texted me saying could she come over to get the dress. I said ‘Sure, I’m just out at the moment. I think my mum’s home I’ll be back in an hour’. When I got home, my mum said Blowfish had come over, collected the dress, and left. She never came over again, actually after that Blowfish rarely spoke to me. I guess I should have studied Blowfish a bit harder like the sushi chefs, but I was slightly blinded by the prospect of a new friendship.
For so long, after my encounters with the Blowfishes of the world, I looked at every potential friend as if they were one. I was very cautious. However, over time, I’ve learned you can’t live like that. They’re so many people in this world, over 7,800,000,000 to be exact. I have found that I have great friends from all different avenues in my life. Some I met in school, however, most I didn’t. These are people who accept me as I am, they have my back and I have theirs. So if you are reading this, and you are finding it hard to make friends at the moment, trust me, you will find them. Friends who share your interests and accept you as you are. It might take time, and it might not happen in school however, it will happen. It will happen when you least expect it. Trust me the good ones are worth the wait.
