The definition of a crush is a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable. I would completely agree with that definition bar the word brief. When I had a crush, it tended to last for a very long time. For example, my crush on ‘Lion’…there was nothing brief about it.
It goes without saying that Lion was good looking. He had this magnetic personality and he was liked by everyone in school. I mean everyone… parents, teachers, peers you name it, he was the leader of the pack…no really there was a pack…these boys would prowl down the hallway in big groups chanting school hymns.
Lion was very good with the lionesses. He really knew how to flirt. He always made eye contact and he was extremely confident. Sometimes Lion would say ‘hi’ and fourteen year old me thought for sure he was into me.
Lion was the king of the school jungle. He tended to be surrounded by admiring ladies. His behaviours echoed those of his counterpart in the animal kingdom. He was a beast, but could be affectionate. He loved hugging and rubbing the girls’ arms… lions like to rub their head against a lioness’s if they are interested. However Lion did it to every lioness so it was hard to tell who he was actually interested in.
Having a crush is such an exciting part about being a teenager. You go to school with butterflies in your stomach and if you pass your crush in the hallway you can’t help but smile.
When someone starts talking about the person you like you try to look like you don’t care but really inside you are dying to know more.
Admit it, you get a rush of happiness when they like your instagram post!
Personally, I would always overthink everything I said to my crush and I would try so hard to not embarrass myself that I would always end up doing the opposite. I would walk away mortified because either I couldn’t string one sentence together when he asked me a question, or my responses would always be disjointed and all over the place.
Here is an example of one of my finest moments in front of Lion. A group of us were playing basketball, and me being an eager fourteen year old I wanted to show off, so I tried to get the ball off him…he pushed me off and I fell to the ground and hit my head on the concrete floor. I’m pretty sure I blacked out for a second, however I got back up white as a ghost holding back my tears and continued on as normal. That evening I went home and I felt so unwell. My mum decided to take me to A & E. The doctors did a bunch of tests and x-rays and told me to wear a neck brace just until the results were back. The next day I had to walk into school in a neck brace. A big white neck brace…I was walking around like a pencil. Every teacher would ask me what happened. He was in my class. I would respond with a nervous laugh “I just fell over”. A couple of days later the doctor called and said I was fine, I just had a simple concussion.
I think everyone has experienced the feelings and emotions that come along with having a crush, but we can sometimes become blinded due to these feelings. Looking back, I cringe when I see how hard I tried to impress Lion! Sometimes we can look past all the signs warning us that they are not the right person, and we can start to give the ‘lions’ of the world free rent space in our minds that could be filled by so much more, like I don’t know, maybe someone who actually likes you back !
Nevertheless if you are a teenager and you have a crush on someone here are some tips that have helped me through the years.
1. Get to know them
I was completely infatuated with the look and idea of Lion, that I skipped over who he actually was. As the years went on Lion and I became friends. Once I started to actually get to know him I realised we would most definitely not work!
2. Don’t overthink the interactions you have with them.
It is such a waste of time analysing what or how you said something, because at the end of the day you can’t take it back.
And guess what, The person you said it too, probably forgot what you said seconds after the conversation.
I would overthink everything I said to people, but at the end of the day nobody cares what you have said. They don’t care because they are too busy in their own heads wondering what they are going to say next or what they are going to have for lunch!
3. Don’t do these…(I’m guilty of all of them)
-Don’t excessively stalk them on social media, it is a waste of time.
-Don’t accept last minute invites! Remember you have things to do. You are not a last minute option.
-You know what sometimes you just have to play the game..Don’t show them you’re that interested and definitely don’t double text them.
4. Just Tell them!
This is the most popular tip when I googled “Tips for when you have a crush”.
I can tell you now that I have never used this tip. However, I think it is probably a good idea!
5. Know your worth
It goes without saying but it is THEIR loss. There are so many fish in the sea, don’t settle and don’t change yourself in the hope they might notice you.